Tuesday, June 28, 2011

The Cup of Coffee at My Bedside

Az the husband makes me a cup of coffee every morning. He has done this for fifteen years. When we were first married, we both took our wedding rings off at night, and our morning ritual was to slip them on each other's fingers in the morning, asking "Will you marry me?" It was sweet, but too maudlin to last. The necessities and habits of daily life create their own rituals, and ours became the cup of coffee he brought to my bed every morning before he left for work. He would lean over and kiss me and say, "Coffee's here. I'm going to work. I love you."

A few months ago I switched to green tea (supposedly it boosts the immune system), but the ritual is the same. The kiss, the goodbye, the steaming cup beside the bed. He leaves for work very early, and he is more dependable for me than an alarm clock. Az does not come with a snooze button, and he is not fooled when I murmur, "I'm awake" from the depths of the bed. I must sit straight up and sip my tea before he believes me. He is the first domino that sets off the chain reaction of a school morning. Without him, we would all be late.

Our life right now is chaotic and stressful. We don't have enough money. We are trying to fix up the house. And job searches are a misery for anybody. But the cup of coffee is still there every morning, even if we've argued the night before. The kiss still gently meets my cheek, before I'm even fully awake. A cup of tea costs pennies, but the life behind it is worth the world.

9 comments:

  1. Beautiful. You're right, it says volumes about your husband.

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  2. Constancy is a trait that I admire wholeheartedly. Of course, the tea is nice, but the unspoken, "I'm here, I care about you, I care about our family, and it's time to get up," is wonderful and reassuring.

    My husband doesn't make me coffee, but he always asks me, "Anything I can do for you before I go up?" He works from his office upstairs, and he's wonderful about doing little things for me - changing the baby's diaper, unloading the dishwasher, whatever. That little bit of help - that little bit of "we're in this together" - makes my day so much easier.

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  3. "But the cup of coffee is still there every morning, even if we've argued the night before."

    A cup of coffee every morning for 16 years is more romantic than most of the silly things young women dream about. That constancy of loving action speaks to me of maturity and love with substance. It's romance for grown ups. :)

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  4. My husband makes the coffee every morning, too. But I don't usually get it served in bed :)

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  5. Maybe I wish my husband would make me coffee every morning (though he did it regularly right after I broke my ankle) but his version of "I love you" is getting up with the 2yo who insists on waking at 4:55 every morning. But most people don't have kids who insist on waking before dawn.

    By the way, could you reprint your dignity v. modesty post from a couple years back?

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  6. Dittoes to Carrien. Romance for grownups :) Perfect. We have it, too.

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  7. Awww ~ that's just about the sweetest thing I've read lately. Pretty nice way to greet the day, I expect.

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  8. Aw. My husband doesn't bring me coffee in bed, but he will go down with the kids and start the oatmeal and put on the kettle when I'm pregnant and laying like a dead thing in bed. It's a big thing for a man who says he'd rather go hungry than cook.

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  9. Such a sweet and staying gesture. May you have a love to last the centuries!

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